Just because you’re the female in a relationship doesn’t mean birth control just involves you, and it’s important that both you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to contraceptives and family planning. Whether you’re in a new relationship, looking for something short term or want more security in your existing relationship, if you’re having sexual relations and having a baby is not on the cards at the moment, it’s time for ‘the talk’, and chances are if you don’t bring it up, he won’t either.

Once you involve your partner in decisions regarding birth control, together you can have more supervision of your body, your sexual well-being and control of your lives. Together, you can protect your futures.

Check out these steps below before having the birth control conversation:

Do your research 💻

Do your research before approaching your partner. Find out what methods of birth control are available, how you can access them and how much they cost. Try to find out what your partner already knows, if they have limited knowledge on birth control, educate them: explain the different options, how they work and what the benefits and disadvantages of each are.

Opening up conversations and educating is an important way we as a society can come together and break down the barriers limiting access to sexual healthcare, and the negative stigma that often surrounds these topics.

Know what you want 👍🏽

Before talking to your partner, know what you want. Don’t feel pressured into anything you don’t want or allow them to skip the conversation altogether. If you want to avoid pregnancy, don’t let your partner change your mind or convince you that birth control is less important than it is. Stand your ground, make sure they know that birth control is not up for debate and that the consequences will affect both of you.

Explain the importance of birth control 💊

Your partner should value and prioritise your body and your health but also should want to minimise the chances of an unplanned pregnancy and becoming a parent. Explain how birth control is important for both of you. If you are already on or are seeking a new birth control, let them know how else it helps you. Maybe you use it to help with acne or to regulate your periods. You should feel comfortable enough to discuss anything related to your body with your partner so he can fully understand the importance of birth control and how your cycle works.

Have a plan of action 📃

Once you’ve discussed your options, come up with a plan. Don’t end the conversation before a plan of action is established. This could be deciding upon a birth control method that suits you, contacting your doctor, setting up a payment plan between you, or signing up to Contro.

Consider the future 💭

If your talk has gone well, it’s also worth discussing a Plan B in case things go wrong and your birth control plan fails. This provides peace of mind for both of you, and strengthens your relationship to know you’ll get support no matter what.

Take control ✅

Having conversations about birth control with your partner is a good way to assess if they are a good choice for a sexual or long-term relationship. If they aren’t willing to talk about contraception or participate in decisions, it may be time to consider if they really value you, what’s important to you, your body and your future.

Wanting and using birth control demonstrates that you are taking a positive and mature step to looking out for your future. While there is nothing to be ashamed of, at Contro we understand the difficulty for many to have open conversations around the topic of contraception. If you’re looking for birth control but need to keep things private, you can sign up to our discreet and non-judgemental platform, and receive expert advice from our Partner Doctors.

Ultimately, it’s your body and therefore your choice.